Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize