sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
