Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize