I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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