Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
