Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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