You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
