then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
