how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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