It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
