guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
