Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize