you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
