My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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