They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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