Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
