Is it because I queefed?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
