I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize