If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
