well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize