Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
