does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
