Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
