Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
