Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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