Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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