It's Friday. Sex?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
