I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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