I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
