He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
