Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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