she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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