If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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