Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
