very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
