Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
