Jerry, you need to find god
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
