do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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