i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
