Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize