brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
