that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
