OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
