and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
