I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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