I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
