You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize