Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
no, he came in my armpit
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
