omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i would punch a child for taco bell
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
