Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
