God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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