i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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