people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
