Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Houston, we have a squirter
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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