margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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