I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
