Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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