I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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