Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
