Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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