i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
