Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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