ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize