Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
