took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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