it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
