the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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