she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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