Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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